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Got any Sp*rs jokes? Let's all laugh at Tottenham (UPDATED)

Tottenham have proved yet again that they are the strongest team in the Premier League by propping up the other 19 clubs, so as the classier half of North London revels in being top of the table, let's spare a moment or two (or hopefully several months) to have a joke at the expense of the Spuds.

* What does THFC stand for?

Tottenham Heading For Championship.

* Premiership:

1. Arsenal 12 pts

20. T*tt*nh*m 2pts


* What do Sp*rs and a toothpick have in common?

They both have 2 points....

*In fact, whats the difference between Sp*rs and a triangle? A triangle has 3 points.

* What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common?

They both have spurs at the foot.

* Q. What do Tottenham football club and an online casino have in common?

A. Nothing. At online casino they win once in a while!

* All trains through WHL have been cancelled due to a massive points failure
* Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Sp*rs fan in the road?

A. The dog has skid marks before it!


Send us your T*tt*nh*m jokes and we'll add them to this post.

Reader Comments (51)


September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteruncle mike

Not exactly a joke but a fact:

Interesting facts....

Im sure the Spuds found themselves in a similar position last season.

Some call it the luck of the Irish (someone else's words not mine). Some call it the curse of Robbie Keane!! After gleefully watching Spurs turned over by Aston Villa last night I was promptly reminded by this timely actual factual:

"Every English football team Robbie Keane has left, the following season that team has been relegated..."

Need some examples: Coventry, Wolves, and high and mighty Leeds. Boy I sure hope this trend continues...

I know, I know.. its only 4 games into the season. However, the question I am asking is.. are Tottenham too good a team to go down? - NO!!!!!!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersue

what do the premier league and a cowboy have in common? they both have spurs at the foot.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRiBo

The season after Robbie Keane left Wolves they finished 7th in the Championship (or Division one as it was then). Harsh if they got relegated from that position

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLuisA

whats the difference between spurs and a triangle? a triangle has 3 points.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrellends

juande ramos goes into burger king and asks server for a whopper. server replies saying: OK, spurs will break into the top four.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteradam

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead sp*rs fan in the road?
A. The dog has skid marks before it!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmrah

What's the difference between Tottenham and a pile of turd?


September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWA

What's the similarity between a sp*rs fan and a slinky?

They're both useless but it's fun to watch one fall down the stairs!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

all trains through WHL have been cancelled due to a massive points failure

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterr. newman

I have been a Guuner all of my life, and if, like me, some, or most of you, live, lived and/or grew up in the rigetous side of North London, you wil have freinds who support the idots to the north east of us.I took pleasure in every win, and felt drperessed at ecevery defeat ( draws were equally bad); and there was Right now is there, or has there been in recent memeory, a more pathetic- looking club than Spurs? We could go through the list that does not begin this year, but with the every recent season in delusioonal hope of finding the right overvaunted manager with the right mix of overvalued players. OK, they got some surplus dough with Keane and Berbatov, but in this inflated market, who wouldn't? And they go that back fater spening neraly as third much as they have teken in over the lkast three years. They win the Carling Cup, which as Wenger said, takes four games (some of it gainst championship and lower division teams) to win, and they sit at the foot of the table. You can all add to your list, inlcuding giving us money for David Bently.
All of this is to say, that I am begining to feeel geuninely sorry for Spurs, for some of their non-delusional fans at least. This sympathy has not been extdened to the ingrate Bently, however; the same one who urged Theo to leave; who said that English players didn't get a look in, and generally acted with the maturity disproportional to his abilities, and in contrast to the other young men at the club (and even those who left for that matter, except--who else?-- Cashley). Bently looks to be the player he never could have been, even at Arsenal and for all of those people who wanted the great English boy represenative through him, just look to see what we have instead. But that's another matter in a place where people asked for jokes about a club that almost needs our sympathy in having Bently and inhereting the sins of their previous fathers. Rather than jokes about Spurs looking like the sad fools that they currently are, what we need are lines from sympathy cards.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPablo

22 Spurs jokes here:

****Not to be shown to children****

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRalph

Why not start calling Tottenham for:


September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPål

I was quite shock to find myself wishing them a win last this pity? confuse gunner....!!!!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpiken79

Spurs have a new telephone number

0800 101010 (won nothing won nothing won nothing )

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterK george

i heard that there is a major construction problem at WHL - all seats have terrible sightlines - they all face the pitch !!!!!!!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterr. newman

Juande Ramos has just been caught doing 90 on the M25, the copper who pulled him up said he needed 3 points

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBig Dave

A spurs fan rings up to get a season ticket.
The box office asks him if he is circumsized ??
He repies "yes"
Box office apoligizes and says he cant have a ticket as they only take complete pricks here !!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGary H

I was in the pub Saturday night and next to me was a guy with the sweetest looking dog imaginable.
When the Tottenham score was read out this dog went berserk. It started growling and barking, even tried to bite a couple of people nearby.
I said "**** me mate what's that all about? " He replied, "Oh he does that everytime Tottenham lose"
I said "Well what happens when they win?"
He replied " **** knows, Ive only had him 6 months!"

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBlock93

At the beginnning of the league
Top of the league was a target

At the mid of the season
Relegation a posibility. Avoid relegation.

At the end of the season
Relegation a reality.

I have started betting on Spurs and also winning them because there is a certainity with them.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNick

what do sp*rs and slut have in common?
they are both being fucked from saturday to monday

-is david bantley good football player?
-is david bentley a football player?
-Than who the fuck david bentley is?
-Thats correct,he is fuck,but who cares,Arsenal just got 7mil for this big fat FUCK!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMediator

whats the diffrence between spu*s and a squirel?

a squirrel has more champions leaue exprerience

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterspuds-crap

Lehman brother shares are worth more than spurs season tickets

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRoy

Whom do spur's fans worship now a days?

A. Henry Norris: He knew where their future lies.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermoo

Well after all the top four talk, perhaps they are reading the table upside down.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGunnerX

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