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Monday
Sep222008

Got any Sp*rs jokes? Let's all laugh at Tottenham (UPDATED)

Tottenham have proved yet again that they are the strongest team in the Premier League by propping up the other 19 clubs, so as the classier half of North London revels in being top of the table, let's spare a moment or two (or hopefully several months) to have a joke at the expense of the Spuds.

* What does THFC stand for?

Tottenham Heading For Championship.

* Premiership:

1. Arsenal 12 pts

20. T*tt*nh*m 2pts

 

* What do Sp*rs and a toothpick have in common?

They both have 2 points....

*In fact, whats the difference between Sp*rs and a triangle? A triangle has 3 points.

* What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common?

They both have spurs at the foot.

* Q. What do Tottenham football club and an online casino have in common?

A. Nothing. At online casino they win once in a while!

* All trains through WHL have been cancelled due to a massive points failure
 
* Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Sp*rs fan in the road?

A. The dog has skid marks before it!

 

Send us your T*tt*nh*m jokes and we'll add them to this post.

Reader Comments (51)

What do you call a Spurs fan on the moon

Problem

What do you call ALL Spurs fans on the moon

Problem solved

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRM

why cant you get a cup of tea at white hart lane?

all the mugs are on the pitch and all the cups are at arsenal


another joke for you......

Spurs top 4

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReece Evans

2 jews walk into the spurs ticket office and ask for season tickets. The women behind the counter asks, "are you circumcised?" the jews reply "yes of course" the women then says, "im sorry, you have to be a complete prick to be a tottenham fan"

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergonner

This is still hilarious.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article1155137.ece#OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterscottpuffin

Spurs to sign Korean striker to end their winless streak.
The little known Win Wun Soon.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHerne Bay Gooner

The funniest tottenham joke this year....
' tottenham to break into the top four'

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFaisal Ali

An old lady is walking past White Hart Lane struggling with 2 really heavy shopping bags. Daniel Levy see's her and says "Old Lady, can you manage." - the old lady says "Look Daniel, I know Ramos wants to "cut and run" back home but NO! I DON'T WANT THE POXY JOB!"

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDerren

Apparently, one Spuds supporter, disgusted at his team nailed his season ticket to the gates of WHL.
When he told his wife she screamed that they couldn't afford such gestures and ordered him to go and get it.

He returned to WHL to find that some bastard had nicked the nail.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrindle

Hey guys, this all a bit rich considering Spurtz did double their points against Wigan LMAO No other team in the league can say that. Go the mighty red and whites!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMark The Kiwigooner

whats the best thing about beyonce knowles and totnam.... Ther Bottom!!! Im here all week, sadly

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDrybutyoulaaarveit

what have spurs and'eddie the eagle' got in common? they're both shit and are great at going down hill fast!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdanny g

Your senses of humour are wonderful! They show you up to be the uneducated bunch of tossers all yids know you to be. To illustrate, let me address a few points. We are a NORTH London team, whereas you are south London pikey tossers. We do indeed have a new phone number, 0208515 5151. Five ONE!!! You are all illegal immigrants, we are mainly home grown. We did not BRIBE our way into the top division. We are TOTTENHAM, you are shite.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBill

Harringey Council have rejected an application from Tottenham Hotspur for their new stadium.

A council spokesman said "It's fine to have a fun fair once a year but a circus every two weeks is taking the piss"!

Poor Old Tottenham :) !!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNick

pablo, may I respectfully advise you to learn to spell. No matter how bad spurs are at the moment, your ignorant, illiterate posting has to be more embarrassing by a long way.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNORTHERN SPUR

yeah..dat's rite..robbie keana always leaves a team that about to get relegated. if anyone doubt spurs will get relegated, they only need to look at leeds. semi final champion league not so long ago but now struggling at league 1.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterg0on3r

Nick, you say your team is mainly homegrown. well I got news for you. half of your shit kicking team is raised at the mighty Arsenal.

Yea, that's right. All you yids can get are some over priced Arsenal rejects that can barely make the England squad, left alone do something useful for it.

btw. how many English players did you have starting against Wigan? that's right, five, less than half of your team you hypocrite. And two of those are Arsenal rejects and the other three you bought for over 30 million pounds.

get yourself your third point and then we can talk

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStone

I'm sorry, that post was supposed to be addressed to Bill, not Nick

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStone

another funny thing is that if you double spurs' points tally we'd still be 3 times better then them.....
and to 'northern spur'....nothing is more embarrasing then how bad spurs are at the moment!! :P

September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFaisal Ali

Oh to be a Gooner!! :D

September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFaisal Ali

What's the only difference between David Bentley and a penis?

A penis can't play football.

September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteranon

A man walks into the doctor. "Doctor I have AIDS" he says. "You must be a Spurs fan" says the doctor. "How did you know?" says the man "Because all spurs fans are filthy aids-ridden inbreds" says the doctor. "Is there another doctor I can see?" says the man. "No - fuck off out of my surgery" says the doctor.

September 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPaulie

Q: What looks greasy and eats humble pie?
A: Cist Fabregas after his words come back to bite him and spurs walk away with a point when the invertebrates of Arsenal can't close the game.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBill Nich

Tottenham has just proved that they are the strongest team in the premiership, by being at the bottom of the table they are carrying all the remaining clubs in the premiership.

November 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJake

I think people would Electronic Supplies have been fine with GWB going on vacation every once in a while. Everyone (including every president) needs that. But GWB went on vaca more than any other president in U.S. history, and that includes several years in which he was laptop battery prosecuting two wars. If a Democratic president had done that, you and your brethren would have called it gold watches gross incompetence and nonfeasance of his duties. Swiss Replica Watches You would have howled incessantly about it. But when it is GWB or Reagan (who loved his vacation time too), then it's just fine.

July 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaptop accessories

It started growling and barking, even tried to bite a couple of people nearby.
club penguin cheats

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

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